If we were not so single-minded
About keeping our lives moving,
And for once could do nothing,
Perhaps a huge silence
Might interrupt this sadness
Of never understanding ourselves
And of threatening ourselves with death.
Now I’ll count up to twelve
And you keep quiet and I will go.
“Keeping Quiet” by Pablo Neruda
Stop for a moment, will you? Just wait a moment and listen. Can’t do it, can you? Me neither. It’s akin to ‘mission impossible’. Unless I’m stricken by an illness, struck by lightening, stuck in traffic or waiting in line at Disneyland for another ride on the Matterhorn, I’m on the move. In all honesty, I think I’ve become addicted to being busy. I’ve come down with some viral bug that’s taken over my body and made me chronically OTG (on the go). I’ve become a speed freak of sorts; main lining speed, productivity and busyness as if my life depended upon it daily and habitually.
In my continual pursuit of authenticity I am going to own up and share with you an insight of sorts that has rocked my world. One moment, please, as we pause, that’s right, we are doing nothing but waiting for the brass band to trumpet my ‘a ha’ moment…
The busy pursuit of “being” has become my primary vocation, and it sucks. I quit!
I quit trying to justify my worth to myself and to others. I am no longer interested in seeking the ‘always on the move,’ ever elusive approval from my mother, my family – be they blood or adopted — my friends, my neighbors and any and all strangers. I’m officially letting go of the fear that I Am not good enough, nor that I have not accomplished enough so that I could be deemed acceptable.
Here’s the deal. I accept me for who I Am right now in this moment of time. I Am all there is, nothing more and nothing less. I’m smart enough, skinny enough, worthy enough, kind enough, funny enough, happy enough and loving enough. I Am simply, profoundly enough. Sufficient, Adequate and Ample. That’s me.
“Be still,” says the psalmist, “and know that I am God.”
So, take a moment and look for me. I’m the woman sitting very, very still listening to the voice of my heart, teaching me what is true, what is necessary, what is healing, and what is loving.