Lions and tigers and blogs…oh my!

I can’t believe I’m doing this…blogging, that is.  I feel like the cowardly lion in the Wizard of Oz.  I don’t have the COURAGE it takes to reveal myself; to show up, so to speak.  I was amazingly good at hide and seek as a child.  Who knew, I’d use those skills for most of my life.  It’s hard for me to even fathom that what I actually believe or have to say is relevant.  I Am the cowardly lion.  No, wait.  Not the cowardly lion, no, I Am the tin man.  DO I HAVE THE HEART to blog?  I had a heart when I was young.  It was alive and well and living in the San Fernando Valley, a long time ago.  It pumped joy, play, and wonder.  If I submerged myself in the bathtub, held my breath and lay there quietly, I could hear it.  No, wait, I’m not the tin man.  I can definitely hear my heart beating.  I think my neighbors can hear my heart pounding away in my chest because this is my very first blog and I’m terrified.  It’s just that my heart feels more like a hard hat heart, just doing its job — the joyful, playful, awestruck heart is hiding in a very safe place.  Wait.  I’m not the tin man; he was my least favorite character of the three.  Seriously, I liked the flying monkeys and the wicked witch better than the tin man.  I Am the scarecrow. I love the scarecrow.   I used to have a BRAIN.  A pretty good one, if I say so myself. It was witty, wise, whimsical and sometimes downright insightful.  But the fog of menopause rolled in and took all of that away.  My brain is on pause…If I can just get through this never-ending, 24 hour, 7 day a week roller coaster ride of hot flashes, (Is anybody else sweating like a long distant runner in the Mojave Desert?), mood swings, (I love you, no…I hate you, I really, really hate you!), weight gain (I do believe the dry cleaner is shrinking my clothes), insomnia (My beloved dog, Eli, refuses to sleep with me because I have restless sleeper syndrome) I know my brain will reveal itself to me.  Olly, Olly, Oxen free!

I just realized I Am Blogging…I do have courage.  I do have a heart.  And, I do have a brain.  And I have many, many things to say.  Of motherhood, marriage, family, near death (not once, but twice), dis-ease, spirituality, friendship, animals, books, cooking, movies and menopause aka mind-on-pause.  I hope you’ll read my blog. Perhaps together we can enlighten, ease the feelings of aloneness, step into our magnificence, sit with the fear, frolic in the poppy field, and find our way home.

15 thoughts on “Lions and tigers and blogs…oh my!

  1. Congratulations on stepping up and into the beautiful goddess you are. You are blogging! It’s funny, and poetic.You made me smile and laugh.
    Yes, I’ll read your blog. Each and every one. Because you matter and what you write matters. You’re witty and funny with spirituality weaving a thread throughout. I feel you stepping into your voice in such a magnificent way. I feel you not holding back anything and your authentic self comes through. Thank you for sharing your voice with us and giving us the gift of you. I’m listening to you mi amiga. You showed up.Nothing to be scared of anymore. The scarecrow would be proud. I know I am.

    • I am blessed in our connection. Our friendship inspires me, more than I can say. Thank you for being…YOU. Thank you for your never ending support; for sharing your technological wizardry with me. Thank you for seeing me the way I aspire to see me. You are my touchstone, my teacher, my friend.
      Love,
      Brauna

  2. A recovering perfectionist–I just love that!
    Beautiful post, Brauna. You’re starting with a bang for sure.
    (BTW, I used to have a brain, too. Then I started blogging. Be warned!)

  3. Of all those qualities–courage, brains, heart–it is too hard to pick one in particular that abounds in you, because you have them all to such a great extent. You have so much to say and so much that should be heard. I’m so happy you’re putting it out there. I never thought I would say this, but mom…you’re blogging!

    I love you.

  4. I don’t know who is more blessed; Jacob having you as a mom or you having Jacob as a son. Okay, it’s a tie. The support you give one another makes my eyes well up.☺(tears of joy) G-d bless you both as you begin this journey of stepping into your voice. Your stories have been making me laugh and cry and brought inspiration to me for years. Thank you for giving yourself permission to know your stories matter and interest the rest of us. lovelovelove ♥

    • Amy, I found you at 3 a.m. via menopausal insomnia. As is the way with all things, there’s the good news — I found your blog, purchased your book, and felt inspired…and there’s the bad news, I haven’t slept through the night in what seems like a millenium.
      You are truly a gift to us all…men and women alike. Thank you for your wisdom, your humor, your truths. And thank you, oh so very, very much for your kind words and recognition. I love you, Amy Ferris.
      Brauna Walsh

  5. I just teared up reading these comments and I don’t even know you (yet! 😉 The title of your blog will draw many more readers…thank you to have the courage to do what I’ve only thought about doing. The blog on Japan was a link from Vicki A. who I adore and haven’t met either-but will on the 29th at her Women Who Write get together, but I’m so glad I kept reading about the perfectionism! Your honesty is humbling. Please keep blogging-it’s so cathartic!

    • Julie, Glad you resonated with my blog. I wanted to meet Vicki A. on the 29th,
      and by proxy you as well, but I’ll be out of town. It’s humbling to know that my
      words are touching women like yourself. My intention is to continue blogging for
      a long, long time. It’s my latest addiction and it’s neither fattening or expensive.
      Try it, you’ll like it. xo, Brauna

  6. I’m at a loss for words! The previous replies said soooo much about the way I feel about your ideas and stories. Oh well-guess I’ll try.
    You’re an amazing writer. You put it right out there and I can relate to all you’re saying-esp. the “brain-on-pause”. Know exactly what you mean but am post the M-word and mine is still stuck. How do I kick it loose? I could give up and just call it senility, but I’m too stubborn for that.
    I never was an actual perfectionist, just some of the edges. Now I find that after what life has brought me Im a little too casual about some things, maybe. I’m very greatful for all my blessings. I’ve even learned, in retrospect, to be greatful for the painful times. I did grow and mature. Didn’t like it at the time, but I did get through them, with help.
    Keep blogging girl! I’m delighted to “meet” you and hope to get to know you better.
    Sharon

  7. You do this so well I’d never know you’re a newbie; already your *voice* is unique. I’ll definitely be back!

    PS – discovered you on SheWrites

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